WHO OR WHAT FORMS THE CHARACTER OF YOUR CHILD?

God’s greatest gift to us, besides him dying on the cross for us, and all the wonderful benefits we can gain from that sacrifice, are our beloved children. God has entrusted their souls and bodies to you as the best steward in the world for them. But who or what has formed them to be they are today?

I strongly believe that God forms the temperament of each individual in the mother’s womb. In the process of being conceived, God sees to it that certain genes fuse from both the mother’s and the father’s side and other genes miss each other. It is the womb that the person’s looks, laugh, appearance, how he/she walks and talks and temperature are formed.

The individual’s characters of formed in the easily years by the type of parenting he receives, the environment and the ethics traditions in which he grows up, and special circumstances, which may be either positive or negative. The personality is the reflection of the combination the character and temperament. Many psychologists believe the character to be a combination of the personality and the temperament, but I believe that the personality is produced by the combination of the temperament and the character.

This means that the temperament, being formed by God, cannot easily be changed and so encourage husbands and wives not to try and change each other’s temperament! In particular, do not try to change your child’s temperament. Remember that God, in the womb, formed this for the specific purpose for which the individual was born. Ephesians 2:10: ”For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordinate that we should walk in them. “ then again in palms 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderful  made: marvelous are thy works ;and that my soul knoweth right well.” 

So, dear parent, your child has been born for a divine purpose and is very special and unique, God has blessed you with this child and he/she becomes your responsibility to be brought up correctly and so form the character that God can use to his glory. This is a frightening through! I can only encourage you by saying that there has never ever been a perfect parent. It is your duty as a parent to form the character of your children; this is a very series matter. I wish that I knew all that I am about to share with you when my children were young. However the grace of God was great enough to have made up for my mistakes since they all serve the Lord effectively. When I speak about the calling of God, I am not saying that the person called must become a full-time minister. No, people who know the Lord as their savior have divine calling in whatever circumstance or job they find themselves.

The environment, traditions and especially the kind of parenting that the child is subjected to form the individual’s character:

·         The parent who neglects the child causes them to develop the social style of “indifference”. They need distance from the people and do easily mix socially. So they have a lack of emotional bonding. This kind of character causes big problems in their marriages and work environment.

·         The parent who rejects the child causes his /her social style to avoid people, because he is scared of being rejected. Such as a child grows up rejecting people before they reject him/her, which is an auto-protection mechanism. The spirit of rejection follow them  for the rest of their lives unless they experience a real salvation by Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and are able to forgive those who reject them, with the assistance of a Christian counselor .Such a  person is very unsure of himself and lacks confidence.

·         The parent, who overprotects the child, especially in the first three year of his /her life, causes the child to grow up feeling inadequate and without the ability to solve problems. They become totally dependent on one person. This is the reason why many women who marry husbands who abuse them physically by hitting and battling them, refuse to leave. It causes more pain to be left alone than the beating that she has to endure.

·         The parents who cause the child to over-submit, even in the first 18 months, causes the child to grow up needing approval all the time. Plus their “no” is never “no” and so the child will do anything and everything. The parent threatens to give a hiding, but never follows through and only gives an empty threat. This child will become the star and the light of a party, but can only form superficial relationships because they never know how to clearly set boundaries. The result is a life full of fornication and later adultery. Their marriage will really suffer.

·         The parent who spoils a child, giving everything that the child desires, give him/her an admiring self-image and the idea that no one is as good as he or she is. They always feel good about themselves and cannot take “no “for an answer. They become impulsive and want everything. This want continues into their adult years’ someone says “no” and means it, big fight and stress follow. It is all about self and “me ,me and me”. They are self-absorbed and love themselves more than anyone else. Obviously this will affect their career, unless the father is in a position to employ the spoilt child. Their marriages will be very negative with a lot of problems.

·         The domineering parent causes the child to become assertive, aggressive and having a longing for power. They believe that there are only winners and losers in this world. They reason that they will dominate or be dominated. They will tend to climb on people to make their life a success. They will have a difficulty in bonding and so have a negative relationship with their business partner. Their marriage will be weak from their side. Nobody will be able to get along with them easily. They are usually high drivers.

·         The perfectionist as a parent abuses many problems. When the child causes many problems. When a child comes second first?” When the child gets 90% for the test he asks, “Why did you not get 100%?”Instead of encouraging the child! The result is that the child is very conscientious, conforming and waiting to please everybody and later to control others. They have a need to be perfect and are very upset if they or their family are not .They experience contradictive and opposing emotions: love and hate at the same time; acceptance and rejection; they have difficulty in understanding their own feelings. Yet they remain optimistic as they continually strive for perfection. This attitude of perfectionism makes it very difficult for the spouse for not being perfect. This is probably the worst type of person to live with!

·         The parent who forces constraint or restrain by nagging and resisting, causes their child to have the ability to bond but not in a personal relationship. They are independent on the outside, but inside are very dependent on others and so find difficulty in relationships with others. They eventually become hostile person with negative marriages.

We must remember that all these negative characteristics are the faults of the time. If your child is still under ten years of age, change your parenting style immediately. If they are teenagers or older apologies to them, as I had to apologies to my children.

Happy parenting and do not blame yourself everything ,but take note of the above, especially if you are a young parent, with God all things are possible. 

Dr. Wallis R., June 2010. Who or What Forms the Character of Your Child? Edunews, 52-53.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

SHOCKING……BUT TRUE!

There are 40.5 grams of sugar in a can of coke.

·         Forty grams of sugar is the equivalent of 10 teaspoons of sugar!

A child needs 1600 to 1800 calories or 6700 kilojoules per day. A teenager needs 1800 to 2100 calories or 75000 to 8800 kilojoules per day.

What about takeaways?

·        A small packet of French fries (chips) contains 230 calories and a medium alone 380 calories (1596 kilojoules).

·        A large bag contains a whopping 500 calories (2100 kilojoules)! THAT IS ALMOST A THIRD OF YOUR DAILY ENERGY REQUIREMENT WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT A BURGER!

·        For each packet of ketchup you consume, add a further 15 calories (63 kilojoules).

·        A burger can add another 400 to 500 calories (1680 to 2100 kilojoules).

My teenager drinks loads of energade.

Can energy drinks boost a person’s energy?

Most energy drinks contain large amounts of caffeine, which can provide a temporally energy boost. Some energy drinks contain sugar and other substances. The boost is short-lived, however, and may be accompanied by other problems.

For example, energy drinks that contain sugar may contribute to weight gain –and too much caffeine can lead to:

·         Nervousness

·         Irritability

·         Insomnia

·         Rapid heart beat

·         Increase blood pressure

For most people occasional energy drinks are fine. If you’re consistently fatigued or rundown, consider a better – and healthier – way to boost your energy. Get adequate sleep, include physical activity in your daily routine and eat a healthy diet. Sometimes,  eating too many refined carbohydrates (white bread, packets of chips and sweets)and drinking sugary drinks can actually make you feel more  tired because it does not provide the body with slow-releasing energy nutrients to keep the blood sugar stable. Teenagers also tend to skip meals and eat a lot of junk food, so it may be worth getting their diet assessed if they feel tired to ensure that they follow a healthy, balanced diet.

Reference: Leibrandt. C. October 2010.Food for thought. Edunews 54-55

IS YOUR CHILD A STRUGGLING READER ?

IS YOUR CHILD A STRUGGLING READER?

Poor reading skills are a major concern today and a topic of discussion in very leading newspaper. Not only is it one the biggest contributing factors to the high dropout rate at schools and at universities; it also impacts on the employability of young recruits. Companies report that they first have to train young recruit to read and write before they can start with in-house training. Parents and teachers are faced with this crisis on a daily basis and it seems as if there are no strategies in place to address the problem effectively. To complicate the matter, learning cannot take place without reading and understanding, which means that poor reading skills have a direct influence on general achievement in school.

If your child is a struggling reader, where do you start and what do you need to know?

Reading difficulties do not exist in isolation.

There are numerous factors that can cause reading difficulties and that can contribute to reading problems, including-

·         Sensory input and integration

·         Attention difficulties such as ADD and lack of  concentration

·         Neurological developmental problems

·         Decoding, phonemic awareness and phonic

·         Language-related problems such as poor vocabulary

·         Reading comprehension

·         Fixation, regression, eye span, foreground/ background, etc

·         Dominance

·         Emotional problems manifesting in reading problems

·         Anxiety

·         Nutrition-related problems manifesting in the  form of poor concentration

·         Aberrant primitive reflexes, and

·         Reading readiness (start formal reading if the learner is not ready).

What is meant by contributing factors?

 The causes of reading difficulties are not easily identifiable because difficulty with reading is often the result of other related problems. The struggling reader very often dislikes reading and is labeled as the “dummy” in the class, contributing to a negative self-image, feelings of failure and an unwillingness to engage in reading activities. Formal reading instruction at school often requires the learner to read aloud, causing severe anxiety and  stress  for the struggling reader. They feel exposed and humiliated, as a result, they often act out because they prefer to be seen an naughty than stupid. This behavior is used as an escape from being humiliated and exposed in front of their classmates. Disciplinary consequences await these children at school as well as at home. This vicious circle feeds poor reading skills as the reader believes that he/she cannot read and therefore does not see the use of trying anymore. The contributing factors escalate to create a daunting, negative experience for the learner.

How do we know what the causes are?

A comprehension assessment to determine the cause is necessary to provide a tailor -made strategy for individual learner. Assessing reading speed and comprehension are only helpful as they indicate that the learner does not read on the appropriate level; however, this limited assessment does not provide information on the reasons for low reading speed or poor comprehension, nor does it provide information as to additional causes or contributing factors of poor reading difficulties.

Where do you start?

Once you know what causes the child to struggle with reading, the causes and contributing factors can be addressed: a child with concentration problems will not develop reading skills at a normal pace unless he or she is able to concentrate and focus on the content to be read-only then can an intervention programme be compiled. This principle applies to all possible causes of reading difficulties. Sporadic success may occur but will not be sustainable until the child is able to concentrate.

What role does computer program plays?

Because of the complexity of reading difficulties, software based reading programs have shown to have limited success unless they are utilised according to a specific method or strategy for every individual learner. Many schools have invested thousands of dollars in reading software just to find out that they do not have the knowledge to use  the program effectively. What a waste of resources!

Reading Zone has done extensive research results have been published internationally indicated that software programs are only tools to be used in addressing reading difficulties. Success lies in the methodology, in other words, how the program is manipulated to do what you want it to do for every individual learner. Some software programs offer limited opportunity to effectively address reading difficulties.

Reading zone

Reading Zone is a young, dynamic and fast growing company that focuses on the improvement and development of reading and learning abilities.

What makes reading Zone unique?

·          We believe   in re-creating a love for reading through a medium young people can identify with and therefore support the idea of technology assisted reading and learning. However, reading difficulties do not exist in isolation and therefore we follow a unique and holistic intervention methodology between facilitator and learner and base our reading and learning intervention on the latest research in the field of technology assisted reading and neurophysiology.

·         We base our intervention on comprehensive assessments in reading and studying to ensure a unique and individually focused intervention program for every leaner.

·         We present a reading and learning readiness program (early literacy) for 5 to8 year old learners, this program is developed according to the latest research in reflex inhibition, neurophysiology and developmental psychology.

·         We have a full time academic research program that distinguishes us as leaders in the field of reading and learning intervention .Our result are published and well accepted overseas. Reading Zone takes pride in the success our learners achieve.

·         We include study strategies as part of our intervention as reading and learning goes hand in hand.

www.readingzone.co.za/ info@readingzone.co.za

Reference: Van Wyk. G. April 2010. Is your child a struggling reader? Edunews. 66-67. Windhoek